Yes, that's right. I said it. Of all the evil places one has to contend with on a military base with any regularity, the commissary is the Mordor of the Air Force Middle Earth.
And the worst thing is that you simply cannot spend less than an hour in the commissary at a time. Try it - go in for "just some milk." Dodge the elderly weaving down the center of the aisle at top speed in their motorized carts. Try to get past the women hobbling in stilletto boots. Avoid collisions with the "car carts" that have two kids in the driver's seat, one kid in the basket seat, and two walking along next to their pregnant mother (oh my goodness, I just described myself!).