Carronade The Yankee Sailor Carronade

The Sea is a choosy mistress. She takes the men that come to her and weighs them and measures them. The ones she adores, she keeps; the ones she hates, she destroys. The rest she casts back to land. I count myself among the adored, for I am Her willing Captive.

I've relocated to a new Yankee Sailor.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Bloggin' the Boob Tube

Since our Internet connection is down for fourteen hours a day, I thought I'd feed my habit by covering what's on the news channels today. In short, there's nothing on the news channels today. At least, nothing that's really news. Oh, by the way, this is posted by e-mail, so if the formatting gets screwed up, get over it and I'll fix it later.

All three channels are stuck on the same four stories:

The Brain Trusts - Big news - NOT! It seems that John Kerry actually had a lower GPA as an undergraduate at Yale than did George W. Bush. Only by a point, but still, it was lower. So much for his claim to be a brain trust. I can't criticize too much, because I had a C average during my undergraduate studies, and I also got four "D's" the second semester of my freshman year. I was more focused on the beer drinking and fraternity parties at the time. By my senior year, I was on the Dean's List.

One thing that I am suspicious of is the timing of this news. Just a few days ago we got news that Kerry signed his SF 180 to release his Navy service records, and today we get his college transcripts, too. Could it be that Mr. Kerry is airing as much dirty laundry as he can now so it's all "old news" come 2008?

The Bush-Blair Summit - They're meeting, but they're not talking yet. Everyone predicts there will be lots of smiling, back slapping and agreement in the end, so who am I to swim against the current?

The Jackson Jury - Fox and CNN both have analysts saying they don't know what will happen, they can't know what will happen, and even if they did know what was going on in the jury room, they wouldn't tell because they would have broken the law. Why is this news?

Car Chase City - Another car chase in LA, with a standoff on the highway. The SWAT guys have the suspect totally boxed in, so Mr. Suspect needs to decide whether he's going to jail or dying in the car. I can't imagine he thinks he'll get anything by drawing it out.

Also, what is it with these stupid car chases? Is it a way of vicariously reliving the O.J. story? Does it make us feel better to sit in our La-Z-Boy and think, "we'll, at least my life isn't that screwed up." And why does this crap always happen in L.A.? Is it part of the "west coast experience" that us Easterners just can't grasp?

Given how focused we as a culture are on bad news, I think I want to continue to live places that never get any news coverage. No car chases? That's fine. No children abducted and murdered? Won't miss it. Retirement is still a long way away, so there's no need to spend much time on it now.